For some reasons, I just felt like writing here for today instead of @ LJ. It's ironical how my LJ seems no longer private. I'm seriously thinking of making it a private journal and delete all my friends. But I'm always shunning away from people, so I guess I should open up a bit.

Well, something small has happened and the way I reacted to it made me realize what a worthless and boring life I'm living. But mah... I get upset for one day and the next day I can't be bothered anymore. That's how I am these days. I can't seem to care about anything anymore.

I'm always feeling a surge of happiness I realize. When I walk, I'll be smiling and everyone passes by me unnoticed. But it feels bitter. It feels like some sort of twisted joy derived from cynicism. I feel I'm always so cold inside. I smile a lot, but I think I'm cold and dead inside. But again, I don't care. I just laugh it all away and strut around like the world spins for me.